Let’s do this
I have so many thoughts and emotions rushing through my mind right now, and I needed to find somewhere to put it, so here we go.
I HATE feeling helpless and stuck. Maybe that’s why I have a fear of committment. I mean, there has to be something I can do right? I feel stuck, and confined by my transportation means. Nothing new, I didn’t have a car freshman year, or sophomore year or junior year for that matter. I mean, there’s a lot you can do without, but I just feel so trapped without the independence to go out and find or see what I need to see.
I don’t know if I am cut out for business either. I don’t seem to have a good way of interacting with people, especially those that don’t know me very well. Do I give up too easily? Am I too pushy? Do I need to be more confident and firm? I don’t think that’s what I was meant to do here, and it just frustrates me that I don’t have the balls to go out and get what I really want. :( I guess I am just trying to recover and catch a breath but how long is this really going to take?
Antsy. Waiting for stuff drives me crazy. Waiting for responses, calls back…my mind just never stops buzzing and life seems to just stall whenever I have to wait for something.
But despite all this, I’m not complaining. I’ve been blessed with so much. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky, how I turned out ok, and why all these amazing things keep happening to me. I’m just not satisfied quite yet, I think there is more to come and that’s what keeps me inspired and excited.
